let's do it another way...

I have written the last post in english. Just because I was quite angry.
Today I have decided that I am going to write the blog in English. Maybe there will be a few Hungarian posts as well but I want to write most of them in English. There reason why I have made this decision is there are a few things what I do not want to let people know around me.
Of course they can translate these posts also but it is harder for them to understand what I realy mean. And if somebody does not speak the language as good as I do, they won't understand it.
( With this I did not want to say that I am better than they are, just if they donno the meanings of the words on their own, its hard for them to translate it with any type of online translator. Even if I use slang in my sentences. So here we go...)

I am still pissed off. I have not talked with Nikola since the last time (yesterday). I have seen that she is online/available in msn. But I have not started a chat with her. I have sent a few short messages. And gave her a call. But there was no answer. I donno what is goin' on.

"cant understand the reasons why..."
(This is from the lyrics of the song what I am listening.)

If I don't look these things with Nikola , my day was more or less good. The weather was beautiful today. I mean better :). It was about 15C° and it was sunny. If its going to be the same tomorrow I think I will go around the city. I'm not realy in a mood like this , to do a walk, but I think later on I would regret if I would not go. 27 days left. It is so hard to take it.
I wanna go home. I want to stay there . It sucks here...
I am tired. There is still no answer from Nikola. I have sent her that I will not look for her. If se wants to talk with me , than she knows where I am. Its enough for today. I gotta go to sleep.
Sleep well...
I miss u...........
"Only I want to hear you, or see you again..."

...:::Ger1:::...

fucked...and pissed off...

I have talked with Nikola.
She made me pissed off. She is thinkin' about to go out with Netta.
I was quite happy that they do not realy get on well with each other, and do not realy keep the contact with each other. But now they wanna go together. I asked her: And where will you go out?
I have felt that it is not just a simple party. She told me that Netta invited her to got to Bekescsaba.
Jeasus ... I am so fuckin' angry. I do NOT want to let her go with that whore to Csaba.
It is totaly unbelievable.
What is more she was in bad mood all week long. I donno what is wrong with her. She is just moody. And she does not tell me why. She told me that she does not know the reason why she is like this. I could blast , cry and blow up in the same time. This is what I realy feel.
If it would not be enough Nikola told me that her relationship with Niki is better.
OMG!!! Seriously ... it is totaly well... unbeliveable.
To be honest I don't know what to do. I do not want to say her that she mustn't go to csaba.
I guess I will. Why is it so fucking important to go to another town to have a party. If Netta wants to meet her. Why isn't it good to go out at home?! I would not even say a bad word about that but like this. The funniest thing was that I asked her that: How will you go to csaba? She told me that Netta's mom will take them there. All right... Just like before... Son of a bitch ... it makes me sooooooo angry. ( Last time Netta said the same. And it was not true at all. 'cause Patrik took them to nagyszenás. And Nikola wanted to come home, but and she had to crave to go home. But no 'cause Netta did not want. Se told Nikola that c'mon stay here for a little while and other things...) I have realy serious issues why I do not like that "girl"... what is more I hate her. Why can't she take this little time while I get home?! It's just 28 days. Fuck...

Anyway ... If she will go to Bekescsaba I am gonna be realy realy angry to her...
This day was so fucked up...

I had a coursework what I had to handle today. Of course I have not even started it... Cool.
What more will happen today?!

I go to sleep I think...

I can imagine what would happen if she would go , Netta would fool Nikola into doing wrong things.. I could brake and smash everything 'round me.
It's just the same as a nightmare...